I bet you were all so worried that I'd decided to never come back from Jamaica, on account of I haven't posted in so long. Not to worry, I'm safely back in the frozen tundra that is my home.
I spent 5 days lying on the beach, swimming, eating and consuming cocktails, and I have the photos to prove it. You see, I value the merit of adventure vacations and eco-tourism, but this trip was not in the name civic responsibility, it was in the name of Michelle: a girl who likes to lay in the sun. ( On a side note, Jesse did look up our resort, and apparently they do contribute to Jamaican communities using local produce and offering "average" wages.)

The first day there was kind of cloudy, and I think that made some of the retirees and honeymooners crabby. But not me, I pulled up a towel and made myself a sand goatee:

I found it to be very becoming on me, refusing to rub it off, but finally relented when it was time to eat again (no one wants sand in their food.)
We dined on at a lovely Jamaican restaurant called Bluefield's named after a nearby town. When we were finished eating, we were attacked by these crazy Jamaican jungle birds:

I know that might just look like a blackbird to you, and it's possible that they weren't so much attacking us as hunting for breadcrumbs on the abandoned table next to us...but it's my memory. And there was a jungle nearby.
Next up, we enjoyed viewing the ancient Jamaican art of towel-folding:

simply exquisite. The towels were unfolded and beach frolicking took place. Then it was time to take some beachy photos. This is the best one of me:

I love how the Jamaican sunlight makes my skin look so flawless.
On Saturday, It was my friend Jeni's Birthday, so her husband Chad hunted down some Jamaican Guinness. I think the yellow label makes it look more tropical, don't you?

Here's how happy we were after we drank all the Guinness:

I had to upload that one small because it's entirely possible that there's food in my teeth.
On the last day I got stung by a jellyfish. I couldn't see him in the water, but I'm guessing he was just as cute and innocent looking as this one by
chimeracrochet:
I think he just accidentally floated into me.
Finally, on the last day, I took a picture of this fish stand from the window of the bus that was taking us to the airport:

So, as you can see, we had an authentic Jamerican experience. I really miss my spot in the sun. Especially because it's Zero degrees right now. It's so cold, there's not even a temperature.